PAGE 26

CIn The News Boyd McDonald CONTINUED FROM PAGE 18

From what is known of blow jobs, it would seem that Bobby Wayne, if he had any character, could have sensed the woman's distress and could have withdrawn his pecker before she choked to death.

Desirables In Richmond Hill

Some residents of Richmond Hill, Queens, New York City fear that an AIDS counseling center on Jamaica Avenue there "could attract undesirable men," says the New York Times.

In calling these men undesirable, the Richmond Hill citizens are ipso facto claiming to be desirable themselves. Substantiation, please: what is desirable about them and who desires it? Is it their suck holes, shit holes, or piss holes?

These desirables broke the counseling

ADULT FILM REVIEW

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 22

Dan joins in the suckfest and takes command, giving orders as to position (who's on top, who's on bottom, etc.) and egging both of them on.

While the other guy remains sucking look-alike's cock, Dan shimmies under his crotch and sucks his Johnson. Then the guy kind of sits back on Dan's face and Dan makes like a vacuum. Dan also spanks the guy sitting on his face. Maybe this was Dan's way of saying "I'm suffocating you idiot!" but I can't be too sure of this.

When Dan finally ends up on the receiving end of some Greek action, Smutty is poised and ready to scream when Elliot starts in with his moaning and crying. Sure enough, as if on cue, somewhere between his 12th whine and the next, he whimpers, "Ohhhh, ohhh, it's soooo big!"

Smutty positively howls. She's making so much noise she doesn't notice the spreading wet spot in the crotch of my jeans. I'm so sorry. If Dan says it, cries it or moans it, I believe it!! He's too hot.

The three guys pair off in various combinations before all three line up and jerk off onto a pitched mirror so we can get the "jizzing in your eye" angle from the video camera. I also notice that after Dan cums, he giggles, which is a patented move on his part.

Back at the private dick's office we see

CONTAX-Florida's Finest

center's entrance door, threw bricks at its windows, threatened by telephone to bomb it, and kept some AIDS patients away out of fear they would be assaulted.

Those AIDS patients who acquired the disease through sexual relations would have to be classified as desirable; if they weren't desirable their sex partners would notdon't you see? have desired them.

Youth Fears His Cock Is Too Big

In a letter to Beth, the advice columnist, a youth represented himself as being "worried" that what he calls his "penis" is too "big."

"I'm eight inches in a flaccid state," he wrote. "Guys say I'll have trouble when I'm older because girls will be afraid of

me."

Beth knows more about meat than I do. She replied that hard ons (or "erections," to use her word) do not differ in size as much as limp dicks do and that the vagina can "allow something as large as a baby's head to pass through during that Hogan has finally caught up with Steve Sinclair. Steve says he's not interested in Elliot, who's obviously smitten with him. Callous bitch! An unwise move on your part.

Hogan decides it's no use trying to convince Steve to do something he doesn't want to do but takes a last chance to see if he can have him, himself. Of course, this works out just fine.

Hogan falls to his knees and sucks away on Sinclair's weenie. This is just a suck and jerk session and doesn't last too long. Smutty and I both notice that Steve cums on his pants, which look like they're wool or heavy polyester. Explain that to the drycleaner, Steve.

As Hogan takes his leave of the recalcitrant hustler, he notes to himself, "He's cute, but a few bricks shy of a load." How rude!

Back at Hogan's office Scott delivers the bad news to Danny, who delivers the bad news that he can't pay cash for Hogan's services.

Like how did we guess this would happen.

Wouldn't it have been cuter if Danny had produced a credit card, instead. Hogan would send it through his approval terminal and it would be declined with the comment, "Take it out in trade!!!"

Danny strips off his tight polo shirt and soon doffs his jeans, too. Watching Dan undress is half the fun of seeing him naked. That tight, tight little body gives my goosebumps goosebumps.

birth."

MARCH 6, 1991

MARCH 6, 1991

She assured her correspondent, "You need not worry."

READERS: Please collaborate by sending me clippings about indecent exposure and other sexual indecencies. It is vital that this information be circulated; many cities depend upon the tourist dollar, and tourists want to know what a city has to offer in the way of exposed dick as well as audiences for men who want to display their own meat. Tourists also want to know whether a city offers large numbers of promiscuous people prowling around for sex. A city's very economic survival may depend upon its offering competitive exhibitionist and voyeur facilities. If you keep your city properly publicized through this column. you may wind up with a rich, conventioneering mortician in your arms. Clippings should be sent to: Boyd McDonald, P.O. Box 281, Radio City Station, New York, NY 10101.

Hogan falls to his knees (again) and sucks on Danny. Danny climbs into a chair and teeters precariously on the arms. so Scott doesn't have to bend down to get to his pecker.

Then Scott screws Danny and Danny reciprocates, which is a Vivid first for young Mr. Elliot. Does this mean he's graduated to the senior class? Dan's a versatile lad, proving that his hip action is just as solid; be he giving or receiving.

Hogan claws the rug as Dan gives it to him from behind. Dan also makes with another of his patented moves he spits on Scott's back just before he cums. Smutty hates this but I have to give Dan credit for getting away with this unconventional move.

Both guys cum and that's the end of it. Pay to Play 3 eclipses its predecessors with both style, story and dialogue. Hogan steals the early part of the video with his caustic and bitchy remarks regarding his clients. So what if we've heard the lines before. You've probably not heard them in a porno flick before.

And of course there's Dan Elliot. If I say too much more, Aunt Smutty has threatened to have my jaw wired shut so I can't talk about this mighty mite any longer. I'll take care of her. I'll hide all her Al Parker tapes.

To order Pay to Play 3 or any other titles from Vivid Video's catalog, call 1-800423-4227 or write them at 15127 Califa Street, Van Nuys, CA 91411.

MEN'S CONTAX

ORLANDO

23 Y.O. HISPANIC Business student, cute, healthy and fit. Looking for friends with similar background. Box 01-A-0004 T

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CLUB

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MEN'S CONTAX

ORLANDO

GWM SEEKS WHITE/ASIAN Males turned on by the look/feel of nylon/lycra tights and bikewear. Box 01-L-0083 49712.

LATIN WANTED GWM 29, muscular and versatile. Seek muscular Latin 18-29. Send photo, phone, and letter. A Box 01-P0159 49787.

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PAGE 27

MEN'S CONTAX

ORLANDO

25 Y.O. HAIRY BEAR CUB Seeks Papa bear 25-45, mustache, beard a plus. Letter and photo please. Box 01-P-0076 49741.

FRENCH YOUNG 40 Mediterranean looks. Swimmer's build. Windsurfer, Easy-going. Seeks a caring, humorous, masculine, husky type. Any age. Photo. Box 01-P-0087 49744.

GLM 35 Y.O.

Good-looking, healthy. Looking for stable, masculine GBM, 40-45, for relationship/friendship/fun.

01-P-0014 49714.

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Looking for uncut man in Orlando who enjoys being serviced. Letter and photo, if possible. Box 01-P-

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GWM 37, 5'11" Blue/gray, 210#, hairy, romantic. Theater professional. Seeking sincere 21-30 GWM/BM, nonsmoker. Descriptive letter and photo. P-0044 49730.

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FUN-LOVING, ATHLETIC

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HANDSOME, MUSCULAR Masculine Jock, 30s. Seeks similar

type 20s or 30s for safe heavy workouts. Interests in toys a plus. Box 01-N-0168 49678.

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CONTAX Classifieds Work! FIND MORE CLASSIFIEDS ON PAGE 28